Now a day’s almost every establishment has a reward card they give out that keeps track of your purchases so the store can send you coupons, give you discounts, and generally causes moments of frustration in line as you search frantically for your card during checkout. They usually give you a credit card sized card, and then one or two little cards that you can put on a key ring.
I used to carry the credit card sized cards in my wallet until it became impossible to fold my wallet so I moved to the key ring. This is fine if you have one or two, but I currently have fifteen on my key ring. I cannot fit my keys into my pocket any longer without looking like I’m carrying a mutilated softball in my pants.
Each card is of a different size as well and because I stuff these into my pocket I’ve found the longer ones tend to become bent, which over time begins to wear away the lamination. So now I have roughly six to eight cards that the lamination is curling on which essentially expands the cards physical space into the size of Delaware.
As I look over the cards I realize that I use approximately three of these cards on a regular basis. As I am a miser and always want a discount I carry these stupid things with me all the time on the outside chance that I’ll visit one of these places and get the discount / reward. The only problem with this is that half the time I visit these places I forget I have the stupid things on my key ring and walk out without using them. How I forget to use them is beyond me because after I walk out of the store I usually have to get a crow bar and a small crane to get the keys out of my pocket.
I also do not feel rewarded for carrying these things. Half the time, the times I remember to use them, they scan the card and it does nothing but collect my purchasing information. I have basically carried these things around, provided my buying habits to faceless corporations so they can in turn sell that information to other faceless corporations, which will then send me coupons for their products. Then when I’ve been tempted by their coupon offers and purchase one of their items they will offer me yet another reward card. I’m detecting a pattern here and I think I’m the butt of this joke!
At any rate the reward card is essential in today’s age and should be carried at all costs. So to get my keys back into my pocket I’m going to have the rewards cards sewn into a jacket with the bar code exposed because I just can’t pass up on a potential bargain / reward.
Now, where did I leave my keys?
kazoonews 
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