I grew up during a time when the only people who wore helmets were soldiers, fireman, football players, construction workers that made buildings, and the batter in baseball. No one that I saw wore a helmet riding a bike, skateboard, go cart, dirt bike, or playing ice hockey (accept the goalie and that was a just a mask). Today it’s hard to drive a half mile without seeing grown adults sporting the latest swiss cheese holed helmet while riding a bike a whooping 10 miles an hour.
I see people my age with these things on their heads and think “really”. Does anyone believe that the impact from the Mac truck barreling down the road with a driver who needs to text his buddy to see if he wants to hang out later will be any less fatal with that styrofoam walnut on their head? The helmet, at best, is a false sense of safety. As a child when I would have a wreck on my bike, which was usually a result of something stupid I was doing like riding without my hands on the handle bars and trying to sit Indian style on the seat, the last thing I would brace my fall with was my head. I know that seems silly, but I always found that impact with my face and skull on the pavement to be less appealing than my hands hitting first. In fact my head was the part of my body that I purposely avoided coming in contact with the ground.
Now, I’m not an advocate for people not being safe. I’m an advocate for people being smart, and coordinated. One thing I learned as a child was if I couldn’t do something without banging my head on the ground I quickly avoided that activity. As did all the other kids I grew up with. I learned how to ride my bike, but more importantly, and painfully through trial and error, I learned how to fall off my bike as well. Falling off a bike hurts. You may skin a knee, elbow, and scuff up the palms of your hands breaking the fall and if going fast enough may break a bone, but most likely not hit your head if you know how to fall.
I know what you are going to say “what about the fall you haven’t planned for, or the occasional front end impact with the neighbors dog as you ride your bike through their living room” to which I would respond “they shouldn’t have left their front door open while I was on my bike ride”. If I can be serious for a second we cannot protect ourselves from every possible accident….UNTIL NOW! I created a suit made of kevlar and bubble wrap that is lined with chain-mail. It’s virtually impenetrable and covers the entire body accept the face. The bubble wrap cushions the fall / impact, the kevlar protects you from the abrasions, and the chain-mail just looks cool. Knights wore chain-mail and is there any cooler look than a suit of armor?
The only slight snag I’ve had with the suit is that it weighs roughly the same as a Ford Focus. I’ve found that if I crawl into the suit and lay in my front yard it works perfect as I have yet to be injured from a fall. I’ve also found that laying in my front yard outside of the suit has the same affect, but I do not feel as confined or get as sweaty as the suit does not have a lot of ventilation. Hey, it’s still in the design stage!
Anyway, I think if people truly want to be safe while riding their bikes, and make the next fashion statement, then they need to get one of these suits when it comes off the production line. Sure they will have to find bicycles that will hold the weight of a Ford Focus, and probably look like an idiot riding down the road, but it’s all about being safe, right?
Personally my bicycle is a car, and so far I haven’t had to put a helmet on while driving it, but if I can get this suit in the front seat you bet I’ll be sporting my chain-mail protection unit!